Never say! Or at Least I Hope They Don't!
by Surfah
Summary: For the fun of Humor, short says that I made up, which I hope the Harry Potter series characters won't speak!
1. You sayThey Don't Say

Disclaimer: Am I J.K. Rowling? No. So, obviously, I don't anything you recognize.  
  
Harry: Draco, you're right. Hermione is a Mudblood. Come on, lets go taunt some 1st years!  
  
Hermione: What was the spell to unlock doors again? I forgot...  
  
Ron: You know what Harry? From now on, my role model is Percy. He's perfect! Look  
  
where it's gotten him! To some interesting job at the Ministry!! I love my brother very much.  
  
I proud that he is a Weasley.  
  
Percy: Oh hell with it. Stay up until midnight. I dont give a damn.  
  
Colin: Harry Potter isn't all that great you know... (I doubt that will ever happen!)  
  
Dobby (back in Chamber of Secrets book): Harry Potter MUST go back to Hogwarts! MWHA-HA-HA-HA! HARRY POTTER MUST DIE!!! MWHA-HA-HA!!  
  
Albus: Do'h! (Homer Simpson)  
  
Sirius: Ok, come on Snapey, let's all be friends!!  
  
Snape: I'm a prat, and I suck at potions. James Potter was so lucky. At least HE got a wife.  
  
Snape: Maybe I should consider that Herbal Essence Shampoo I've seen in Muggle shops... it might just work!! hhhmm....  
  
Lucius Malfoy: Oh just give up on him, My Lord! You're never going to kill Harry Potter anyways! You're just too stupid to realise it!  
  
Hermione: Arithmancy is a waste of time! Come on, let's go and play in the Forbidden Forest!  
  
Mr.Dursley: Harry, we've come to decide that you may have Dudley's 1st bedroom. He's now offically too big for it. We've considered the idea of moving in to a bigger house so that Dudley can fit through the hallways.  
  
Mrs.Dursley: Oh Dudley! Why can't just be as skinny as Harry, here? I'm sick and tired of having to buy three of everything!  
  
Dudley: Uh, Harry? What's it like a Hogwarts?  
  
Lockhart: Oh, no. Not another autograph!  
  
Ginny (in a very flirtatious voice): Hi, *Draco*... he-he-he! How was your vacation?  
  
A Funny little fight I made up. It's kinda funny. Ron (in the fifth book): Hermione, I am madly in love with you! I'm am in love with everything you do! You are my ideal wife, Hermione Granger! I've loved you ever since we snogged in the broomstick closet near the Quidditch field! Marry me, Hermione!  
  
Draco (replying to Ron): No, you stupid prat! She's mine! I want her! She's going to Marry ME!  
  
Harry (fighting back to Ron and Draco): HA! You aren't even her best friend! I love her! I'm going to have her!  
  
Ron: Nah-ah!  
  
Draco: Definitely not!  
  
Harry: I think so!  
  
Ron: She's mine!  
  
Draco: Argh, no you idiot! She's MINE!  
  
Harry: NO WAY!  
  
Hermione: Oh, you people! NONE OF YOU WILL HAVE ME! I'm Neville's...  
  
Neville: Hermione? Ha! I don't want you. I need Ginny... (looks around. Ginny's gone. And so is Draco.) Ginny? Where's Ginny?  
  
Harry: Where'd Malfoy go? He's gone!  
  
(Suddenly, I voice is heard from a nearby closet)  
  
Ginny: Oh, draco! Hhhmm... you fiesty kisser! oh... draco... *Only Groans are heard from Draco.  
  
(Obviously, Draco and Ginny are off snogging.)  
  
Neville: Ginny? Ah... oh well. I'm sure Hermione will do just fine. 


	2. More you say?

Here's MORE! Disclaimer: You know the routine. yada yada ya. and all that good stuff!  
  
  
  
  
  
Who should we start with. hhmm. how about-  
  
  
  
Dumbledore: I give up, Harry. Voldemort can have you.  
  
  
  
McGonagall: I need a trip! How about. Hawaii! I've always wanted to try on one of those Coconut Bra's! (Sickening, yes. Reality, thank god lets hope not!)  
  
  
  
Fred: You know what Harry? I'm starting to feel bad about pulling pranks on all those innocent people.  
  
George: Yeah, me too Fred. It hurts sometimes, you know? I mean, what's the point in wasting all that valuable time. when we could be studying for N.E.W.T.'s like mum's always wanted us to?  
  
Fred: I agree! Come on, George. Let's go ask Percy to help us with our studies! (AAHH!! That would be horrible if Fred and George suddenly became smart alecks!)  
  
  
  
  
  
Hagrid: I broke up with 'adame Maxi'e, She jus' wasn' my type. (She's like, the only of his type!)  
  
  
  
Dumbledore: Oh for god sakes, Sybill. Just shut the hell up! Who really gives a damn if Harry or Ron were the first to stand up from the table?! Ooohh no!! We're ALL GONNA DIE!! *Gives Trewlaney a sarcastic look. *  
  
  
  
Trewlaney (starts bawling): YOU'RE RIGHT! I AM A FRAUD! I ADMIT IT!! I JUST KNEW THE DARK LORD WAS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE-BECAUSE I HELPED PETTIGREW GET OUT OF HERE! DON'T YOU SEE?! I'M A DEATHEATER! (She suddenly calms down and looks at Harry.) AND I'M GOING TO FINALLY KILL HARRY POTTER!!! (suddenly, She launches at him, but trips over a crystal ball that was placed on the floor.)  
  
Ron: Tricked by her own magic. Huh. Stupid witch.  
  
  
  
Ginny: Harry, why don't you pay attention to ME?! Cho doesn't even LIKE you! Come on! *waves hand frantically at Harry* OVER HERE!! Cute little Redhead MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!! HELLO?!!!  
  
  
  
Charlie Weasley: I have lost my appeal for Dragons. I am now more interested in Pixies and their development!! It's loads of interesting facts!! Real fun!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~I'll post more!! Honest!! I'll make some more funny ones! It just takes time!!~ 


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